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I dont know why...

... but I still got you under my skin

I wonder what brought me to this but I ve been listening to old CDs almost all morning and I feel quite comfortable.
There are songs which touch my deep inside, which make me smile or shiver as they tear apart old wounds.

If I had to put in words what happened around me during the last weeks, which things I figured out, experienced, felt, over-thought - I would end up head-shaking and helplessly shrugging my shoulders. I dont know what came to pass but it changed a lot.
I am not moving yet and if I will start, it may only be baby steps but even those ARE steps at all, right?
For the first time since ages, I feel that I am doing the right thing, that there should not be any doubts, even though I m hurt and bleeding now and then.
I am confident, this bitter taste when waking up in the morning, the moments when darkness creeps up on me suddenly - I dont fear them that much right now. I even have the hope that they wont be there forever.
22.7.07 14:29



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